The Monkey’s Disgrace

In the  January/February 1991 issue of Think & Believe, we included a poem written by an unknown author titled Darwin’s Mistake. Just recently, a good friend of ours gave us a copy of the same poem titled The Monkey’s Disgrace that she ran across out of the Coloradoan newspaper (March 20, 2002) in a Dear Abby column.  My Google search led me to the website, where the below picture was found with the same poem. The site makes a good case that the author of the poem is Gilliam S. Weaver.  The poem is fun and is repeated below.  I use their title and subtitle.

Dave Nutting

The Monkey’s [Disgrace]
(Evolution — The Monkey’s Viewpoint)


Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree

Discussing things as they are said to be.

Said one to the others, “Now listen, you two,

There’s a rumor around that can’t be true

That man descended from our noble race

The very idea is a great disgrace.

No monkey has ever deserted his wife

Starved her babies and ruined her life

And you’ve never known a mother monk

To leave her babies with others to bunk 

Or pass from one on to another

Till they scarcely know who is their mother.

And another thing you’ll never see,

A monk build a fence round a coconut tree,

And let the coconuts go to waste,

Forbidding all other monks to taste;

Why, if I put a fence around a tree,

Starvation will force you to steal from me!

Here’s another thing a monkey won’t do

Go out at night and get on a stew.

Or use a gun or club or knife

To take some other monkey’s life.

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss

But, brother, he didn’t descend from us.”


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